Talkin’ Shit: I Hate Deadpool

Have you noticed how much Deadpool is getting more and more…everywhere? In the 90’s, I actually enjoyed Deadpool. Some of his earlier works are pretty cool, and when he wasn’t so obnoxiously outspoken, I definitely enjoyed the character. But now, Marvel knows how many weeaboo/annoying-as-fuck convention attendees that love the character, so they’re going to milk Deadpool’s teets as much as they possibly can.

I’m going to say this, and I don’t give a shit how many people get angry at me for saying so: Deadpool is the Big Bang Theory of comic books. He’s a cool concept, but his writing is usually riddled with memes and his stories take any chance given to poke fun at pop culture, to the point where it’s no longer funny and it just becomes just flat out annoying.

When I picture the average Deadpool fan, I honestly imagine avid comic fanatics lying on their beds, legs crossed and lips bitten in anticipation for some Breaking Bad or Facebook reference for them to shit their pants over in laughter. Because it’s sooooo cool that a comic book character would reference shit that they like! Well dude, Deadpool is a fictional character, and sadly, he’s not your fucking best friend to share a giggle with. He’s nothing more than an annoying link between the Internet and comic books. He’s the poor Family Guy quality of pop culture references – a scapegoat for transcribing annoying blogger and 4Chan posts.

And don’t get me wrong, I “get” the character. “Merc with a mouth,” Deadpool is a mercenary who loves violence and destruction and breaking the fourth wall. He’s got swords, guns, and everything else middle-schoolers wish they had in their backpacks; he’s an adult Spider-Man – a hero who can curse and kill without any remorse, even sometimes for the sole purpose to kill and nothing more.

He’s a modern day Bugs Bunny that isn’t very much clever. Attending any convention involving anime or comic books and I can guarantee you that the most annoying folks in attendance will be those dressed up as Deadpool, probably dancing to “Gangnam Style” or dry-humping everything in sight — maybe even singing “Call Me Maybe” or flipping off cars while screaming in a high pitched voice at traffic.

To simply put it, I’m going to quote Robby on this one: “If I wanted to fill my brains with the sort of junk in a Deadpool comic, I’d put a bunch of awkward 12-year-old boys in a room, give them a bunch sugar, and watch them look at the internet.”

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  • Kevmo

    1. Deadpool is not real. He does not exist. Complaining about Deadpool in the terms you’ve described is like complaining that nobody pays attention to the T-1000’s murder spree: It’s fictional, so nobody cares.

    2. Deadpool fans like Deadpool. I know this might be a tough one to grasp, based on the content of this article, but I swear it’s true. Deadpool fans like Deadpool.

    3. Most comic readers are roughly age 28-30. It’s simple marketing research. Deadpool is one of the most popular comic characters in publication. So your point about braced teenagers being his fan base is not only inaccurate, but just plain ignorant. Get some standards, champ, because you’re only making YOU look bad here. Not Deadpool, not his fans, not the publisher. YOU, PERSONALLY, look like a moron comparing his fan base to tweens.

    4. Reducing him to a series of pointless gimmicks indicates a piss-poor education regarding storytelling archetypes as the ancient Greek Satyres, or satires. As much as I hate ad-hom, you frankly don’t possess the simple community college, or Junior-level high-school, education needed to even understand the property. DP might not be the Citizen Kane or Vertigo of comics, but your analysis deserves nothing but the derision normally reserved for special-needs children and remedial junior high writers.

    • Coolstorybro

      Someone needs to leave their mother’s basement

      • Kevmo

        I’d like to apologize to special-needs children everywhere. You’re WAY smarter than this guy.

    • “It’s fictional, so nobody cares.”

      *writes 200 more words*

  • Kingmike

    I agree the new personality of deadpool is that of a hyperactive retard