I GOT A DEAD BEETLE IN MY 420 GOODY BOX

Recently I had the opportunity to review a subscription box dedicated to smokers called BurnBox. The box was a solid, impressive array of smoking devices and accessories I definitely believe people should be checking out. I’m still a bit new to the subscription service scene, but I know there only a small handful of boxes that provide goods for smokers. I’m interested in that, for damn sure. I would love to smoke with some of these goods in the 420 friendly hotel that I recently found online. I can’t wait to get away with my friends, we’re gonna smoke so much!

One of the few major subscription boxes for smokers is 420 Goody Box, which I’ve seen advertised and talked about just about everywhere. Each box is guaranteed stuffed with “5 to 8 premium products”, which usually includes a smoking device, accessories, and some munchies, all for $28. That’s pretty cool.

What’s not cool is what I actually obtained in my box today. Through some minor research, I found 420 Goody Box has a terrible reputation with customer service. I didn’t think they’d really send me review materials that reflected that in any sort, but sure enough, I received a pretty shitty surprise: a horribly misprinted bong covered in glue residue and dust, carrying the tiny carcass of a bug inside its chamber. Oh, and a nice tiny bundle of broken glass, too.

Right off the bat, I was annoyed when I opened my box. Most boxes come with a card that catalogues everything given to you inside, describing what you received with a bit of detail. My box was the company’s 2014 November box. It’s January. They sent me a two-month old box.

Now, before anyone harasses me with “Who gives a shit? You got this for free” — it’s really fishy that a company that specializes in monthly subscription boxes would do this. These kinds of boxes are usually limited release. I let it slide; maybe this specific box is the brand’s pride of joy. Maybe 420 Goody Box really loved their November box, so they’re giving me something super rad to talk about here on Albotas.

I don’t really know why I was sent the November box, but I do know that I was given a dirty ass water pipe with a misprinted design and a dead beetle inside. I had a good look at everything and was surely disappointed at the design of the bong itself. The design on the glassware is off printed and skewed. There’s glue residue and scratches over the piece, as if it were refurbished or previously owned. The bong’s glass bowl loosely fits in its stem and the stem itself has really rough, uneven cuts. There’s a large chip by the chamber’s mouthpiece. I haven’t tried it out yet, but it’s going to take a lot of soap and water before I even think about it.

All disgusting shit aside, the bong might retail for around $15 at your local head shop, $20 max, poorly constructed or not. A single 420 Goody Box starts at $20 with $8 shipping added on, so we’re almost to retail value already.

Also included in the box was a torch lighter, which is a light usually used for cigars. They retail at around $10-$15. That’s the rest of the box’s value.

Everything else in this box is kind of an added-on “goody.” I got some Rezblock from 420 Science, which helps prevent resin build-up in glassware. The box also included got some cigar wraps, a 420 Goody Box sticker, and some munchies — a fig bar, Fruit by the Foot, and a tiny sample of Montana Mex salt seasoning. I also unwrapped a random brown piece of paper I thought was packaging for a small gift, but it turned out to be just full of broken glass from another bong (Red glass, my bong is blue. I’m assuming they released these poorly crafted glass pieces in different colors) and I almost sliced up my thumb. Thank God it was just broken fucking glass, right?

Add everything up, you might say this box has a retail value of $40. I tried following-up with 420 Goody Box about my dirty glass piece and the random shards of glass I received, but I got an error about their inbox being full. That might go hand-in-hand with their horrible customer service reputation, which includes numerous folks being dissatisfied with glass products, complaints about service cancellation and over-charges. The site does say it offers a “100% refund” to dissatisfied customers, but it seems no one is ever on the other side to answer.

I don’t recommend this box at all. You probably will get a great retail value on one, but from what I received in the mail today in addition to everything I’ve already heard about these guys, this box service is a total flop. If you’re in the market for Bongs you’d be much better off going somewhere else, in my opinion. Products included aren’t solely smoking-related and is rather geared toward smoker lifestyle, which is why munchies are included, but its those same accessories that might turn some folks away from the service. Plus I got a dirty bong that already looked used. That’s not fun, right?