Flickr user mojoey says:

My son bought a new skateboard at Van’s at the Block of Orange. He thought his mom and dad would not know what the skateboard’s graphic represented. When I saw it I laughed so hard that I ended up snorting. We had to explain 2 Girls 1 Cup to the wife.

+10 awesome points to this kid and his dad for explaining 2 Girls 1 Cup to his mom.

[Via Reddit]

Spotted this at my local Barnes & Noble. I’m sure you’ll agree that it looks pretty amazing.

Here’s the product description:

In November 2007, Gotham Books unleashed The Truth about Chuck Norris upon the world and changed publishing forever. Containing 400 farcical facts about pop culture icon Chuck Norris, the book burned through thirteen printings, roundhouse kicked the New York Times bestseller list, and left readers delighted (and a little bit terrified)….

Now Ian Spector has returned to his voluminous vault to bring readers 200 new Chuck Norris facts alongside 200 facts about his longtime antagonist Mr. T, in a battle that pits foot against fist, beard against mohawk, and Delta Force against A-Team. Included in this fearsome tome are such startling observations as:

• There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
• King Kong once challenged Godzilla to an arm-wrestling match. Mr. T won.
• The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
• The last man to make eye contact with Mr. T was Stevie Wonder.
• Chuck Norris is a man’s man’s man.
• Mr. T once beat a man to death with his own corpse.

A hilarious tribute to two of the greatest humans who have ever lived, Chuck Norris vs Mr. T is the one book that can finally reveal what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object.

Get “Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T: 400 Facts About the Baddest Dudes in the History of Ever” on AMAZON.

Aside from having the most amazing name in the history of beer names, Skinny Blonde Beer is the first ever beer with an interactive label. Through the powers of science and perverted old Australian guys, the babe on the bottle loses her top as the beer warms up to 14° C. Too bad real girls don’t react the same way.

Even more awesome than the beer itself is the website. It lets you pick one of six skinny blondes, conveniently placed in a human-sized 6-pack box, and see what they look like with their tops off. It’s purely for scientific purposes to simulate what the actual label does… or something. Oh, and it probably goes without saying that it’s probably NSFW. Unless you have the sort of job where it’s cool to look at boobies on the internet, then in that case, are you hiring?

To top it off, the chicks on the site don’t even have names. They’re referred to as SB1 through SB6. Amazing.

Here’s a prolific quote from SB1:

“There are two main requirements in being a Skinny Blonde. You need to be skinny and you need to be blonde. My other strengths include taekwondo, roller disco and carpentry - I like using tools.”

Wow. Life suddenly has an entirely new meaning for me now. Thank you, Australia.

[Via NOTCOT]

As the economy crumbles, even fortune cookie companies are forced to conceive new schemes to convince customers to buy more.

[Via Flickr]

I don’t care what anyone says, the autotune meme is still funny as shit in my book. This third episode of Autotune The News had me dying at the end. You might wanna’ go check out the first two before watching this one.

My New Favorite Thing On The Internet: Autotune the News

This is Obama’s speech from the White House Correspondents’ dinner. He manages to roast the shit out of just about everyone in the room. This is one of the many examples of why we have the raddest leader on the planet.

Texas doesn’t fuck around when it comes to ant infestations. To combat a recent fire ant infestation, researchers have released parasitic Phorid flies all accross the state. The flies lay eggs on the ants and when they hatch, the larvae eats the brain. Afterwards, the ant gets up and starts walking around for about two weeks and then its head falls off.

So when these Phorid flies evolve and can turn humans into the walking dead, we have Texas to blame. Thanks, Texas.

[Via Nerdcore]

I would. Twice.

[Via deleteyourself]

If only this were real. Sadly, it’s a fake BBC news site. Check the full article here.

[Via io9]

Remember Shadowhare, the hilariously nerdy Cincinnati-based crime-fighter and sworn member of the Allegiance of Heroes? Well, the Consortium of Evil have posted a listing on Craigslist stating that they’re willing to pay up to the whopping sum of $10 for Shadowhare’s secret identity. Surely, evil knows no bounds.

[Via Geekologie]

So a guy who’s obviously high out of his mind is dressed as a wizard at the Coachella festival. He decides to get naked and show off his insanely small penis. Seriously, I didn’t know that God made penises that small… it’s like a cartoon. Anyway, he cops eventually show up and try to get the naked wizard to re-robe himself. The naked wizard ain’t havin’ any of that nonsense because he wants to be free. Instead of just placing him under arrest, the cops decide to pin him down and repeatedly use a taser gun directly over his heart and right on his spine on the back of his neck. A quick google search for “taser kills man” will give you a little insight on why this is probably a bad idea. Luckily the wizard in this story didn’t die.

But seriously, how small is that guys penis?

[Via Huffington Post]

I wasn’t initially going to post this because I thought to myself “this is fucking stupid,” but then I thought “mmmm… pizza.” The concept isn’t that bad either, but what if I only order a medium pizza for two? I can’t just tear off two plates from the box. You actually expect me to use real plates? Fuck you, pizza-box-of-the-future inventors! Go back to the drawing board.

[Via Asylum]

There’s so much insanity going on this video that I don’t even know where to start. This kid calls himself “Shadowhare” and I don’t think anyone knows what that fucking means — not even Shadowhare himself. He rolls around Cincinnati with a group of fatties in tights trying to fight crime. Everything about this video is funny and sad all at the same time, from how scrawny this kid is, to his nerdy voice, and especially the part about how he got his ass kicked while trying to save some lady who was being attacked.

I think these guys have their hearts in the righ place, but maybe they just need a good Danger Room to level up their skills in.

[Via Topless Robot]

I spotted this Gummy Bacon over at ThinkGeek.com and I was totally about to add it to my cart until I realized it’s strawberry flavored. Fuck that noise. Strawberry flavored gummy bacon is for pussies. Real men eat bacon flavored gummy bacon.

“A bacon cone filled with scrambled eggs and country gravy topped with a biscuit.”

Would you eat this? I know I would. And I’d probably ejaculate in the process. Yes, it looks that appetizing.

[Via This Is Why You're Fat]