The Following story is brought to you by Facepunch.
Facepunch member “Justin Case” told an absolutely hilarious story about his parents thinking he was on meth because of a prank he pulled on his sister. Hit the break and read it!
Yesterday was my sisters birthday so she went with my mother to a cheap ass holiday resort thing called Center Parcs for the day where she was going to meet up with a few friends, my Dad at this point would be at work.
However I was to be left alone at home for 5 hours so I had to think of what to do to entertain myself. A fap-fest was the obvious answer but I thought I’d do something a little different, I decided to put my alarm clock on fairly early so that I could make the most of the free time and did what any teenager would do when their whole family is away for the day; I invited a few friends over…
And blew up 150 latex rubber gloves.
And filled both bathrooms with them.
More were added than that, this is just for a rough idea.
Every now and then a relative would turn up to give my sister a present so I had to take that from them and have a chat as she wasn’t in.
Before my friends arrived I decided to get busy and start doing as many as I could, duct taping the ends as they were impossible to tie. After a few minutes my head feels like it’s being crushed and the backs of my eyes feel like they’re being pushed out my skull.
I wake up a minute later on the floor to the sound of the front door knocking; I had blacked out. I answered the door with bits of duct-tape down my arm and a half inflated glove in my hand, finding it difficult to stand up. I was expecting to see my friends but instead it was my mothers friend with her daughter who I used to baby sit, I hadn’t seen them in about 3 years. I didn’t think to explain why I looked how I did, infact I could barely string a sentence together and I felt really drowsy. She looked a bit worried and her daughter cowered behind her. We say our goodbyes after a brief catch up and I continue my mission.
Let’s skip forward a chunk:
My parents were due home in 5 minutes and I received a text some time before saying my friends couldn’t make it so the result wasn’t as impressive as I had first hoped. I shut the bathroom doors after wedging in as many as possible, went upstairs and awaited the yells of annoyance. But none came. Instead they enter the house and make a bolt for my bedroom. They tell me they got a phonecall saying her friend called and said I looked really ill, my mum looks at my eyes which apparently were bloodshot which makes sense as the gloves kept exploding in my face and one hit me in the eye.
“Are you on drugs?”
“Ahaha what?”
“WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? THIS IS SERIOUS, TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE ON!”
“Jesus Christ Mum, I’m not on anything! I swear!”
Dad meanwhile has gone to the bathroom and found it full of gloves, they flow out and go down the stairs, the cats go ballistic and run out the house, my Mum sees the gloves and looks back to me and says;
“This isn’t fucking normal! What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you on Meth? Coke?! Tell me! I’m your mother I have a right to know!”
“Mum seriously I just thought it would be funny!”
She storms out and doesn’t say a word to me until this morning.
I wake up this morning and my wallet is gone and so is my safe. I go downstairs to make breakfast and my mums there making her lunch, she mutters to me “You can have your money back when you find something better to spend it on rather than wasting it and ruining your life.” She picks up her plate, goes to the lounge and slams the door behind her.
I go out to my mates house for a while to play a bit of Left4Dead and to get away from my psychopathic parents. When I got home an hour ago I found my room had been turfed up, no stone left untouched, there’s random shit all over the place and the furniture is mispositioned. This was evidently a search effort which they could have been more subtle about. They still haven’t spoken to me and we haven’t even made eye contact since my mother checked my pupils.
For the record the only drugs I’ve ever done were Green and Salvia and I gave them both up for last New Years. I hated the experience anyway, I just needed an excuse for when people try to peer pressure me into it.
How do I convince my parents I’m clean?
