Texas doesn’t fuck around when it comes to ant infestations. To combat a recent fire ant infestation, researchers have released parasitic Phorid flies all accross the state. The flies lay eggs on the ants and when they hatch, the larvae eats the brain. Afterwards, the ant gets up and starts walking around for about two weeks and then its head falls off.
So when these Phorid flies evolve and can turn humans into the walking dead, we have Texas to blame. Thanks, Texas.
So a guy who’s obviously high out of his mind is dressed as a wizard at the Coachella festival. He decides to get naked and show off his insanely small penis. Seriously, I didn’t know that God made penises that small… it’s like a cartoon. Anyway, he cops eventually show up and try to get the naked wizard to re-robe himself. The naked wizard ain’t havin’ any of that nonsense because he wants to be free. Instead of just placing him under arrest, the cops decide to pin him down and repeatedly use a taser gun directly over his heart and right on his spine on the back of his neck. A quick google search for “taser kills man” will give you a little insight on why this is probably a bad idea. Luckily the wizard in this story didn’t die.
There’s so much insanity going on this video that I don’t even know where to start. This kid calls himself “Shadowhare” and I don’t think anyone knows what that fucking means — not even Shadowhare himself. He rolls around Cincinnati with a group of fatties in tights trying to fight crime. Everything about this video is funny and sad all at the same time, from how scrawny this kid is, to his nerdy voice, and especially the part about how he got his ass kicked while trying to save some lady who was being attacked.
I think these guys have their hearts in the righ place, but maybe they just need a good Danger Room to level up their skills in.