We’ve had the PSP, the PSP-2000, the PSP-3000, and now Sony just recently released the PSP Go. Is the fourth time really the charm?

The general consensus has been, “it’s pretty, but meh.” Sure, there are improvements like 16GB of built-in storage space, a built-in mic, and the ability to connect Bluetooth devices like a PS3 controller (not sure why you’d even wanna’ do that in the first place), but is the new system really worth it? I like sexy new gadgets as much as the next guy, and the PSP Go is about as sexy as they come (especially the white one!), but let’s set aside our geekiness for just a moment and break this down logistically.

1. Unlike previous PSP models, the Go’s battery is built in. This means if you need to replace your battery for any reason, you won’t be able to do it on your own without voiding the warranty.

2. The screen is smaller! Traditionally, new system do things bigger and better. The screen on the PSP Go is .5 inches smaller than the PSP!!!

3. After three previous versions of the PSP and millions of gamers begging for a 2nd analog stick, you’d think Sony would listen, right? Wrong. Still only one anilog nub, so get ready for another year of clunky FPS controls. Until the inevitable PSP with a touch screen that you know damn well those bastards are gonna’ release for the 2010 holiday. Speaking of which…

4. No touch screen? Seriously? It’s 2010, Sony. Stop being an asshole.

5. Already have an older PSP and a huge collection of UMD’s lying around? Get ready to re-buy that huge collection if you ever wanna’ play those games on your PSP Go. Sony currently hasn’t acknowledged any inkling of a plan to transfer your games onto the Go.

6. Similarly, all your old PSP accessories won’t work with the Go either. If you have a few of Sony’s propriety memory sticks lying around, you may as well just chuck ‘em or use ‘em for something else. The PSP Go uses the insanely-way-smaller Memory Stick Micro. And if you were thinking of using the charger for your old PSP on the PSP Go, think again. Sony changed up the charger for no other logical reason than to piss you off.

7. The Minis are such a ripoff!!! With the launch of the PSP Go, the PlayStation store now has a collection of smaller games called Minis, which are nothing more than just stripped-down, more expensive versions of iPhone games. If a game had Wi-Fi multiplayer and downloadable content for the iPhone, don’t ever expect those features to come to the PSP. Now, I know that you can download Minis on older PSP systems as well, so this isn’t necessarily a full-fledged reason not to buy a PSP Go, it’s more or less just a reason not to get suckered into buying Minis in general.

8. You can’t play UMD games!!! While there are no doubts that the UMD format was stupid, bulky, and in no way ideal for portable gaming, a huge chunk of the PSP’s library is currently only available on UMD. This means you’ll just have to wait until Sony decides to release certain titles as downloadables.

9. The regular games are a ripoff, too!!! Since the PSP Go can’t play UMD discs, this means you’re limited to the small selection of games currently available on the PlayStation store. Sony decided to take advantage of this by charging obscene prices for content. Whereas you might be able to buy a used UMD at your local GameStop for only $7 or so, you’ll probably spend anywhere from $10 – $20 on the same game on the PlayStation store. Probably the most insane price I’ve seen is one of the Guilty Gear games going for $30. Thirty fucking doll-hairs!!! That’s the same amount you’d spend on a brand new, shrink-wrapped physical copy in a store! The only difference is, the store price factors in production costs, shipping costs, and the store’s profit. With these downloadable games, there’s nothing to produce or ship, and no necessary up-charge for a store to profit from, other than the PlayStation store which is no-doubt profiting off of a bunch of suckers who don’t know better.

10. THE PSP GO IS TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!! Are. You. Serious!? You can get a used PSP for as little as $60 at a used game store or pawn shop. That’s a HUGE difference, especially when you consider the fact that older PSP models can download and play the exact same games as the PSP Go as well as the huge library of UMD games currently available.

Seriously, save your money.