A Positive Customer Review of SimCity

If you haven’t heard anything on the new embarrassingly atrocious SimCity video game, or if you’ve been living under a rock with no Wifi for the last couple of weeks, let’s catch up to speed.

EA Games released Maxis’ SimCity weeks ago. People bought it. A lot of people couldn’t play it. The game has to run online and always needs Internet to play since it runs cloud-based, but the thing is, EA’s servers can’t handle that. The servers aren’t fit for its players, thus, a huge chunk of folks who bought the game can’t even play it. EA tried saying sorry by giving out free games, but I don’t think anyone cares.

Amazon user reviews on the title include 2,000+ negative one-star and two-star reviews. Amazon decided to take the download down in case anyone would purchase the item through them, due to so many user complaints.

But, if you can filter through some of the five-star game reviews Amazon users have to offer, you can find some really positive words to say about EA’s diaster of a video game, Sim City.

This is one of the most positive five-star reviews on Amazon right now toward the game, written by user plantos500:

You’d think I’d be mega unhappy like everyone else at the constant waiting and lack of actually being able to play a game I purchased.

Well, you’d be wrong.

The hours upon hours since launch that I haven’t been able to log in, whether it be sitting in queues, or server busy messages, or just plain old not working screens, I’ve managed to do a heap of things that I never do when I’m locked in my man cave playing video games.

I’ve washed the dishes, the laundry, changed the oil in the car, mopped the floors, dusted, did a spot of gardening, greeted my children who I hadn’t really seen since Christmas, walked the dog, asked how my wife’s day has been and listened to the entire response, restocked the groceries and many more things! My family has never been happier that they’ve got a father and husband again.

In fact, I feel like Simcity has given me a new lease on life. This wouldn’t have been possible without the seemingly crazy decision to have constant online connections and server side save points even for single player.

So I can only thank EA and Maxis. Your failures have been my rewards. 5 stars!

Dull Dad’s life has been changed forever, thanks to SimCity. Dull Dad is now deemed “Cool Dad,” after writing this user review, and we’re all happy for him and his life altering decision to purchase, and attempt to play, SimCity on his PC.

We hope that EA Games sees this post and is overcome with a sense of happiness, knowing that their product actually worked in making at least one person content.

Check it: More featured editorials on Albotas
Buy it: A good video game

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Prince of Persia Trilogy HD, $16.49 at Amazon

Pretty neat deal going on over at Amazon right now. PlayStation 3 gamers can now buy Prince of Persia Trilogy HD for only $16.49. I’m kind of shocked that the price hasn’t dropped to below $15 yet, but I guess that’ll take some more time.

Check it: More sales on Albotas
Buy it: Prince of Persia Trilogy HD (PS3)

DEALS: Up To 50% Off Console Games And 75% Off Downloadable PC Games On Amazon

Who likes cheap stuff? Well, you’re in luck. Amazon is slashing prices on video games right now and offering select console games for up to 50% off and over 400 downloadable PC games for up to 75% off. Now’s your chance to catch up on some of the major titles you may have missed before the holiday season pumps out even more awesomeness for you to catch up on.

Creepy Perverts Review Girl’s One-Piece Swimsuit On Amazon

This right here is some gross and disturbing nonsense. These reviews are from Japan (big surprise!) where there’s a huge fetish culture surrounding navy blue swimsuits that are primarily used by middle school and high school girl swim teams.

★★★★★ Pleasure inversely proportional to perversion(519 out of 555 customers found this review helpful)

I’m 165cm-tall and am able to wear this swimsuit without any difficulty. When I wear this to work I am plunged into indescribable feelings of pleasure from the thrill that my coworkers might find out what I’m wearing.

To like-minded swimsuit enthusiasts, I also recommend wearing it to the public pool. It’s hard to find a time when no one else is around and I’ve only been able to do it twice myself, but if you can get in the water and swim around you can experience a sensation like you have never known before.

When I entered the pool, I gradually lowered my body into the water and the tight-fitting material slowly loosened as it absorbed the the moisture. When you finally submerge yourself completely and the wet cloth clings to your body, you completely lose yourself in sensual pleasure. Bringing yourself out of the water, your body feels slightly heavy and you can feel the water pressed between your body and the swimsuit and the moisture absorbed in the swimsuit itself drip down gradually.

There are just some of the ways you can use your school swimsuit.

However, drying the swimsuit is no easy task. I live with my wife and two children and so I can’t leave it out. I thought about hanging it to dry in my room, but it left water drops on the floor. Please exercise caution.

I love how they refer to themselves as “swimsuit enthusiasts.” Like it’s model trains or fucking coin collecting. And I’d really like to meet the 529 out of 550 customers who found this review helpful. Who ARE these people? Gosh danged weirdos, that’s who.

Check out a few more of these creepy reviews over on RocketNews24.

An Axe to Grind

After completing an illustration of the Sorceress from Dragon’s Crown, Qiqo takes a shot at rendering the Amazon.

The Scott Pilgrim vs. the World 2-disk Blu-ray/DVD combo is just $11.99 on Amazon right now. That’s 56% off the original price of $26.98, holmes! You should probably go get it since it’s already a cult classic and one of the most under-rated (box office wise) flicks to come out in years. Plus, the special features are the shiznit and there’s a buttload of ‘em.

Buy it now, fools!

Danbo & the Gumball Machine

This shot of Amazon.co.jp mascot, Danboard, comes from Flickr user Yoshi Gizmo. The figure is part of Revoltech’s line and even has some light-up eyes when you flip a switch. Yoshi Gizmo takes a lot of photos featuring Japanese toys, so take a look at here Photostream.