This Hello Kitty Wedding Dress Seems Like A Pretty Good Way To Get Left At The Altar

Fellas, say you’re dating the perfect girl. Nothing weird, creepy, or particularly out of the normal about her. Say you get engaged to this girl. Then the wedding day comes, you anxiously await walking down the aisle and seeing your perfect, beautiful bride, but then you get punched right in the eyes sockets with THIS monstrosity.

They say it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride’s dress before the wedding, but I think seeing this dress waiting for you down the aisle is just plain bad luck, period. Everything about it spells disaster and would send yours truly calming 180-ing back out whatever door I came in from.

Note to the ladies: please don’t ever do this.

And, yes, the above picture is clearly PhotoShopped, but it’s the principal of the whole thing. There’s principalities involved.

Hello Kitty Bento Series

They’ve turned Hello Kitty into a lot of things - a KISS member and a Street Fighter character, just to name a few recent ones. But I’ve never seen her turned into a food item. The bento series contains a bunch of food items such as onigiri, peppers, and octopi with Hello Kitty’s face on them. This is just bizarre. And awesome. My favorite is the plush chicken wing above.

Check it: More Hello Kitty on Albotas

Buy: Hello Kitty Peel and Stick Wall Decals

Gross, man: Wolverine Claw Piercings

Surgical needles make for some pretty cringe-worthy Weapon X cosplay.

Char Inu: Long Live Zeon and Doggy Treats

It’s everyone’s favorite antagonist / protagonist, The Red Comet, now in fluffy form! I hope he flies around space in a dog-shaped Mobile Suit.

source

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Buy: Mobile Suit Gundam 0079 Trilogy

The Second Church of Chuck

Have you heard the good news? Contact The Second Church of Chuck to receive your FREE recruiter package and help spread the good word today!

Meanwhile, In Video Game Journalism…

Xbox 360 gamers are better at sex according to what I’m sure was an intensely rigorous study by UK online coupon website Voucher Codes Pro,  ”the home of free UK discount voucher codes. Why pay more than you have to when we can save you money online?”

Hate People With Vaginas? This Sweater Will Keep Them Away For Good.

This is the “70’s Hair Chest Sweater” by Firebox. It’s $60.49, instantly turns your torso into that of an oiled-up, hairy-chested man, and seems like a pretty rad form of birth control. It also reminds me of Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

(Source: dangerousminds.net)

Dunkin Donuts Has Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwiches Now

Great for your taste buds, terrible for every other part of your body. The greasy poos start now, but only in select D&D’s in eastern Massachusetts where the new sandwiches are currently being tested.

The Force Is Strong with this Uterus

I’m trying really hard not to spin this post and make a joke about how whatever is in this lady’s uterus should take on the religious leadership role that was recently left vacant.

Source: Obvious Winner via Technabob

Sofia Vergara Shows Off Her Twin Canons in ‘Machete Kills’

If you weren’t already aware, this movie is gonna’ be kind of ridiculous. Also, pretty much every famous person ever is in it including Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demián Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror and Mel Gibson.

Action Figures Fucking 2013 Calendars

Some guy named Vince Kramer has created a calendar of action figures fucking each other. Because 2013 needed a thing like this, I suppose. Kramer took photos of a bunch of action figures in various sex positions and put them together to make one raunchy plastic calendar.

From Kramer’s official WordPress:

Keep track of your days with hot and hardcore pornographic action figure action!  Whether it’s Luke Skywalker getting fucked in the ass, He-Man giving Skeletor a blowjob, or Princess Leia being gang-raped by Ewoks; you’ll NEVER forget an important date again!  Order one of my HOT Action Figures Fucking Calendars now for only $25.00 dollars (including shipping and handling) while supplies last!  That’s a deal you can’t get anywhere else, just like these calendars!

I feel somewhat uncomfortable posting about this now. Erm…More info can be found at Kramer’s site on how to order them, as well as specs for the actual calendar.

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Buy it: An actual official Star Wars 2013 Calendar

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[VIDEO] This Dude Has The Best Drum Set Ever

NSFW because ladybutts. This is the video for “Bottom  Percussion” by Jorge Peréz of of patáx.

Man I want this guy’s job. If I ever get a terminal disease, this is my Make A Wish.

(Source: Laughing Squid)